“Lord, [You] examine me and know me. [You] know all, whether I sit down or rise up; [You] discern my thoughts from afar. [You] trace my journey and my resting places, and are familiar with all my paths. For there is not a word on my tongue but [You], Lord, know them all. [You] keep close guard before me and behind and spread [Your] hand over me. Such knowledge is beyond my understanding, so high I cannot reach it. Where can I escape from [Your] spirit? Where can I flee from [Your] presence? If I climb up to heaven, [You] are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, again I find [You.]” (Psalm 139:1-8)
God knows me from before the creation of time and space, before I was conceived and certainly before I was born into the earthly realm. I belong to Him always; there’s never been a time I was not His. “[God] it was who did fashion my inward parts; [He] knit me together in my mother’s womb.” (Psalm 139:13) “In Christ He chose [me] before the world was founded, to be dedicated, to be without blemish in His sight, to be full of love, and He destined [me] — such was His will and pleasure — to be accepted as His son through Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 1:3-5)
God understands “my misgivings.” He tests me every moment to see how much my character is molded to His Son’s; how close I am to being like my brother, Jesus Christ. I pray for Him to continue to “keep close guard before me and behind and spread [His] hand over me.” I am glad that I am incapable of fleeing “from [His] presence;” that wherever I go, God is there. I am always able to find Him because He always knows my location, my thoughts, my weaknesses. And, I know — despite my failings — He loves me just as He loves my brother, Jesus.